The Birth of a Song

Some years ago I was driving through the Iowa countryside, on my way back from a trip to the big city, and I was suddenly awestruck by the beauty of the gentle rolling hills and orderly rows of crops. I saw the rich black soil giving rise to sprouts of green, and  thought, “It’s like black gold, rich and valuable. It’s Iowa Gold.”

And just like that, words and melody flowed into my head: “Iowa gold, this land is filled with wonder, precious as any rare jewel you could hold.”

I pulled over to the side of the road and pulled out my trusty Day-Timer and a pencil.

Words kept coming as if I was just taking dictation: “Precious to the life of this mighty nation, treasure our Iowa gold.” A chorus was born.

Now, how to start the song? Describe Iowa to those who don’t see much beyond their sides of the country. I’ve lived on both coasts, and when I moved to Iowa most everyone said, “Iowa? Isn’t that out there somewhere in the middle?”

“The West coast has mountains and a mighty ocean, on the East coast the world can be bought and sold, but here in the heartland each field is a treasure brimming with soil that is gold . . .”

The second verse of a song has to either move the story ahead, or provide a back story. What came to me next was a wave of gratitude for the various Native American tribes, the pioneers, the settlers, and the early farmers who were the careful custodians of this rich land.

“Generations before us united with nature, and nurtured the land that we now have and hold.”

Why is this land so important? In today’s global environment it goes beyond feeding a family or a tribe. This heartland provides stability and sustenance for much of the country and the world.

“The whole world depends on the fruits of our labors, depends on our Iowa Gold.”

Our job now is to keep this land rich, pure, and wholesome so that generations to come will be able to reap those fruits (and corn and wheat and soy and pumpkins and zucchini and green beans and tomatoes . . .)

I hope you enjoy this music video of “Iowa Gold”, created with the gorgeous photographs of Iowa landscape photographer Ken West. 

Sweet Dreams,

Jane

Improvising Life

Stores are full of toys of all kinds, and there are zillions of children’s songs out there. Many of the toys and songs are wonderfully valuable and will help your child to have fun and grow smart. But sometimes the best toys are the ordinary things of life, and the very best songs are the ones that your own child composes for herself.

My four-year-old granddaughter slept over at my apartment last night. There is an extra big bathtub here, so it had to be explored, but because this is a temporary place I wasn’t prepared for a proper bath time with proper bath toys. Not a proper bucket or plastic boat or toy mermaid in sight.

What to do? Invade the kitchen for any less than obvious treasures---empty food containers, a strainer, wooden tongs. “I need something to go in them,” she said, bravely making the best of it. I went back for another round of exploration. An orange seemed relatively waterproof, as did an apple. Would that work?

Oh yes! A fantastic song---more of an opera—unfolded. The poison apple that Snow White ate led to the glass slipper of Cinderella, a pumpkin and a beautiful dress appeared, and a beautiful princess slept for 100 years. Mommy and Daddy and baby brother made it into the story at one point, as did Mia the cat.

The plastic containers were boats that the orange and apple rode in on their way to the ball. The strainer was a waterfall that they got to ride through. The tongs were used to capture the orange and apple when they started to run away. Thirty straight minutes of song and play (with intermission for the most bubbly shampoo in history) and not a “real” toy in sight.

Last night, at her own house, she brought new things into the bath: a strand of beads, a small mirror, and a comb. I happily take this as a sign that she understands that creativity lurks everywhere, that magic can be found in any object, and the best toy of all is one’s own limitless imagination.

Give your little one a “kitchen bath” and see what happens! At the least it will make for a very good night’s sleep for all concerned.

Sweet dreams,
Jane

Music as Medicine for Premature babies

"Historically, premature infants were thought to be best off left alone in a quiet, closed incubator with no stimulation," said Joanne Loewy, director of Beth Israel's Louis Armstrong Center for Music & Medicine, in an interview with CBS News. "In more recent times, we're seeing that the right kind of stimulation -- particularly live, interactive music -- can enhance babies' neurological function and increase their quiet-alert state. It helps them through those tough moments...”

A new study published online in Pediatrics on April 15 has shown that lullabies and other music therapies have many benefits for premature infants, giving them a better chance at a healthy life.

Babies usually hear the mother’s heartbeat 26 million times before birth, so in this study a wooden instrument called a “Gato box” was played softly to replicate the sound and rhythm of the mother’s heartbeat. It seemed to help the babies make up for the millions of heartbeats that they were missing by being born so early, for they responded with a lowered and more stabilized heart rate.

Another instrument was the “Remo ocean disc,” imitating the watery sounds of the womb. It helped to lower the respiration rate of the babies who were struggling for normal breath and regulate the blood-oxygen levels.

And singing! The best results for wakefulness and lowering of stress were found when the parents sang quietly to their babies. The song didn’t matter---one mother sang “Eight Days A Week” and it had positive effects just like “Twinkle Twinkle.”

They were all sung as lullabies, and worked the way a lullaby works: to relax, calm, and soothe. The singing helped babies get to that “quiet alert state,” which is the best condition of the nervous system for maximum development.

This new study is just more evidence of the great power of music, starting from the beginning of our human lives. Or in this case, when the beginning was even earlier than it was supposed to be!

Here is a short New York Times video interview about the study :

http://www.nytimes.com/video/2013/04/16/science/100000002175017/preemies-and-sound.html?ref=health

Wishing everyone of all ages a good and healing night’s sleep.

Sweet Dreams,

Jane

May there always be sunshine: The Russian "Twinkle"

The title says it all: optimism, hope for the future, and gratitude rolled into one line. 
The rest of the words of this lullaby are just as simple and profound:

May there always be sunshine
May there always be blue skies                           

May there always be mama
May there always be me

Is this an ancient folk song? Or something penned by one of the world's great poets?
No, these perfect lines were written in 1928 by four-year-old Kostya Barranikov. As Pete Seeger tells the story, Kostya drew a picture of a big sun and blue skies, and two stick figured, and this was his interpretation of the drawing. 

In 1962 it was turned into a more complete song and won first prize at an international song festival. It immediately became a hit song throughout the USSR and the rest of the world. 

It transcended politics, and was sung by young Soviets at their training camps, schools, and even in pre-schools. It became known as a song of peace, and is one of the few songs of the Soviet era to have remained popular to this day. 

In fact, Today "May There Always" is the "Twinkle Tinkle" of Russia and many other countries, and like our "Twinkle" it's one of the first songs that children learn. Musically it's ideal for this: the melody is almost all in step wise motion so it's very easy to learn and remember--the basis of a universal classic lullaby. 

Over the years, new lyrics were added and this is how I learned and recorded it:

Click here to listen to the whole song

May there always be flowers
May there always be green grass
May there always be papa
May there always be me

May there always be friendship
May there always be peace
May there always be love
May there always be me

And may you always have sweet dreams!

- Jane 

Princess For a Day

It was obviously the In Place for all princesses. Katie Holmes knew it and was there. So my forever-friend Ina and I, who had dressed up like princesses and danced in her basement long ago, took our grown-up daughters and pretended they were six again, like Suri.

The Sleeping Beauty is a timeless story and Tchaikovsky’s gorgeous music has made it into one of the world’s most beloved ballets, and the New York City Ballet created a magical world of dance and fairy tale. Every one of the thousands of little and big girls in the audience felt like they were dancing too, dreaming of a prince and falling into a hundred-year sleep right along with the beautiful Princess Aurora. The whole place, main floor and all five tiers of balconies, helped the dancers by humming along to the famous waltz---even those who didn’t know that they knew the melody hummed along.

This is Sophia, who dressed for the occasion and was the object of much admiration from young to old. She watched the two hours of dancing and music mesmerized, and she will never forget the experience.

Why spend hard-earned money on something like a ballet, even in the fifth tier balcony? Because, as Sophia’s mother knew, an experience like that becomes part of who we are. The more music, dance, art, and theater we expose our children to, the more they will integrate that world of high-quality imagination and creativity.  I remember clearly the first chamber music concert my parents took me to, dressed up and fidgeting until the flutist appeared.  Pure magic came out of a little silver tube! I begged for lessons and even long after I stopped playing I kept the instrument just because I loved it.

There is a Cycle of Appreciation: if you have some musical experience you can appreciate performances more, and when you see live performances you are inspired more to enjoy or even create it yourself. I think the same thing must happen with sports---by going to high-school basketball games with my son, my four year old granddaughter has an impressive understanding of the game. I firmly believe that she will be the first ballerina princess (tutu and all) to play center on her high school team.


Jane

www.ladylullaby.com

Hunting for Mother Goose

Old Mother Goose when she wanted to wander

Would ride through the air on a very fine gander.

Jack’s mother came in and caught the goose soon,

And mounting its back flew up to the moon.

Mother Goose was hatched in France in the early 17^th century, with the first book with that name appearing in 1695.  At that point it was more like fairy tales than poems, but soon a book of nursery rhymes called Mother Goose’s Melody was published in England. Ever since then Mother Goose has been associated with children’s literature.

But where has Mother Goose flown to? A study conducted by Bridgewater State College in Massachusetts found that kindergartners barely recognize the classic collection of rhymes. It’s just not being used in schools or home the way it was in past years.

Why do these old-fashioned poems matter, anyway?  According to Gari Stein, author of “The More We Get Together: Nurturing Relationships Through Music, Play, Books, and Art, ”and the Bridgewater researcher Mary E. Shorey, it does matter. For centuries now Mother Goose has been a first introduction to literature, poetry, rhyme, vocabulary, humor, and nonsense---and a literary heritage that Shorey says “links generations together.” She also found that “one of the best indicators of how well children will learn to read is their ability to recite nursery rhymes when they walk in the kindergarten!”

So what are kids learning at home instead of Mother Goose? You guessed it: songs from the big children’s TV shows. Now, I like Dora and Diego as much as anyone---I’m learning Spanish from them, and enjoy all sorts of new adventures.  The songs may be catchy--but will they survive four hundred years from now, as Humpty Dumpty has done despite his problem with balance?

So dig up your Mother Goose book from your childhood, get a copy from the library, look online for the individual poems, and enjoy sharing it with your own children. There is long-standing proof that they’ll love it.

Sweet Dreams,
Jane

p.s. If we need to accept technology, though, the Mother Goose Club does a great job of making these poems fun enough to compete with Dora:  Here’s a new version of Little Miss Muffet:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0PWt9An1Ro

The Lullaby Angel

It was the first time in years I’d actually made it to bed before 10 p.m.  It’s always a goal, but somehow it doesn’t happen. Now, however, there was strong motivation: my toddler grandson who sometimes sleeps all night and sometimes doesn’t. You don’t fool around at these times—it’s a matter of survival.

Sure enough, after a few hours of sleep, I heard the battle cry: “Bubbie, Bubbie!”  While it was, thrillingly, recognition of the bond that we had formed---he remembered to call for me instead of his out-of-town parents---I resolved to not give in. It took eight minutes for this resolve to crumble. I went in and picked him up.

We sat in the big chair in his room and I rocked and hummed a lullaby. He settled down and I slowly moved to put him back in the crib. No way. Another lullaby, more settling, another move, more refusal. After a few rounds of this I lovingly but firmly put him back in his crib to scream it out. I admitted defeat, and questioning my right to the title of Lady Lullaby, I slunk out of the room.

Just then a 23-year-old angel appeared. Her name was Veronica, and we’d signed her on just in case this happened for four nights in a row. Young parents do this many nights in a row---I did too, once upon a time---but now this grandmother becomes a useless zombie after not sleeping for a couple nights. To save us all from that fate, the angel offered to take over.

I heard soft singing and the screams gradually turned to whimpers. As I started to relax and fully appreciate being horizontal, the singing continued and the whimpering grew quieter. Songs flowed on and on, one after another, until finally there was real quiet.

In the morning I hugged the angel and asked what she was singing all that time. She didn’t remember any lullabies, she said, so she just went through all the songs she knew: from high school and college musicals she’d been part of; the hit songs of her teen-age years; church hymns and fight songs; and finally all the music from “Les Mis,” sung lullaby style.

The words didn’t matter and the tunes didn’t matter---it was the sweetness, the joy of singing, the loving feelings, and the youthful endurance that came through. This is what the lullaby instinct is all about---this is the heart of lulling a baby to sleep.

And tonight, back in my own bed, I wish his parents---and all parents---patience, endurance, and a memory full of songs of all kinds.

Sweet dreams to young and old,

Jane

Tamales For St. Peter

As my four-year-old granddaughter and I were excitedly waiting for her very first ballet class at the YMCA to begin--purple leotard, pink tights in place---a young man was leaving the room after working out. He asked about the class, and then pulled out his cell phone to show me a picture of his beautiful six-month old daughter. “She’ll be dancing soon too,” he said proudly.

Because it’s what I do, I asked if he sings lullabies to his daughter.

“Oh yes,” he said, “I sing her lullabies in Spanish---the songs my mother sang to me when I was a baby in Mexico.”

“Perfect!” I replied. And it is. This is a wonderful and important gift to a child, passing along the songs of the previous generations.

Spotlight on Music agrees: “Apart from their obvious entertainment value, children's songs and games are often important vehicles for cultures to transmit important knowledge to next generation. Song lyrics or game actions might provide models for cultural customs or family and other social relationships.”

And like my new friend, families migrate, and the culture and the music of the new place will have an influence on the music that the immigrant brings to his new home. This is the nature of our global societies, and it will create new and exciting forms of music.

Similarly, music travels even when people don’t. In Mexico, for instance, because of the cultural influence of the United States, translations of children's songs from English to Spanish have become a part of the children’s music. Songs like "Itzi, bitzi arena" ("The Itsy, Bitsy Spider") and "Estrellita" ("Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star") are as popular in that Mexico as they are in the US.

Our job, in the midst of all this blending of cultures, is to also keep our cultural traditions strong by preserving the integrity of the precious songs that should be passed along to future generations. If you sing the songs that you heard as a child, your child will too.

There are hundreds of beautiful Mexican lullabies, but one of my favorites is “Arriba Del Ciela” (Above Heaven)

This lullaby has many elements. It tells a story about St. Peter wanting tamales, has some nonsense lullaby syllables to hush the baby to sleep, and then it gets to the bottom line:  “Go to sleep because I have chores to do!” Like in many lullabies, the sublime, the humorous, and the practical meet, as the mother gets a chance to dream, be playful, and then comes back to reality. In this version, though, we also have the child afraid that the parents will sell her/him to buy money for food---perhaps this is a common childhood fear, or perhaps it’s a sad nod to a world where such things really happen.

Here is a beautiful video of Claudia Martinez singing “Arriba Del Cielo”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=IdBEFtv5M_c

Above heaven they make tamales
Above heaven they make tamales
San Pedro heard about that and he ordered to bring the real ones
San Pedro heard about that and he ordered to bring the real ones
To the rorrun baby to the rorrun now
To the rorrun baby to the rorrun now
sleep lovely baby boy
sleep lovely baby boy
sleep lovely baby boy because I have things to do
sleep lovely baby boy because I have things to do
to whash your cloth diapers and go to sew
to whash your cloth diapers and go to sew
To the rorrun baby to the rorrun now
To the rorrun baby to the rorrun now
sleep lovely baby boy
sleep lovely baby boy
My dad and mom want to sell me
My dad and mom want to sell me
in exchange for chile and tomatoes that they want to eat
in exchange for chile and tomatoes that they want to eat
To the rorrun baby to the rorrun now
To the rorrun baby to the rorrun now
sleep lovely baby boy
sleep lovely baby boy

Arriba del cielo hicieron tamales
Arriba del cielo hicieron tamales
Lo supo San Pedro y mandó a traer los reales
Lo supo San Pedro y mandó a traer los reales
A la rorrun niño a la rorron cha
A la rorrun niño a la rorron cha
Duermete niñito de mi corazón
Duermete niñito de mi corazón
Duermete niñito que tengo que hacer
Duermete niñito que tengo que hacer
Lavar tus pañales, y ponerme a coser
Lavar tus pañales, y ponerme a coser
A la rorrun niño a la rorron cha
A la rorrun niño a la rorron cha
Duermete niñito de mi corazón
Duermete niñito de mi corazón
Mi papa y mi mama me quieren vender
Mi papa y mi mama me quieren vender
Por chile y tomates que quieren comer
Por chile y tomates que quieren comer
A la rorron niño a la rorron ya
A la rorron niño a la rorron ya
Duermete niñito de mi corazón
Duermete niñito de mi corazón

Sweet Dreams,

Jane

Siblings: Remember It’s a Win-Win

 "I don’t understand how people learn to live in the world if they haven’t had siblings. . . . Everything I learned about negotiation, territoriality, coexistence, dislike, inbred differences and love came from (them).” Anna Quindlan (Siblings)

It’s a whole different thing than my last visit a couple months ago, I realize, as I watch my grandchildren jog the loop around from living room through hallway over and over. The almost-two-year-old boy can now run, and that makes all the difference. The four-year-old girl is like his puppet master---she slows down, he slows down; she goes faster, he tries to keep up and hardly notices when he falls down in the attempt.

She catches him and tumbles him to the ground and he laughs with delight—until it’s suddenly too rough and the laugh turns to tears. Game over. As the substitute referee, it’s a tough call, figuring out if each tackle is within the bounds of the game or not. Pro football doesn’t have to take into account the psychology of sibling relationship issues.

(Flashback: I clearly see my son--the present-day dad--as a four year old, casually sticking out his foot to trip his toddler sister as she devotedly followed his every move. She had no idea what happened, and just picked herself up and kept on following--it was worth it just to be with him.)

Dr. James M. Herzog suggests that enhanced learning from an older sibling can begin as early as 15 to 18 months, which is the time the younger child’s motor skills allow him to imitate the physical accomplishments of an older sibling.

I notice especially the musical tutoring that’s going on daily. The older one says something in a certain tone and pitch, and he imitates it exactly (without real words, which makes it truly comical). She comes home from pre-school with a new song and he sings along, not knowing the song at all, and imitates her hand motions, just for the sheer joy of doing what she’s doing.

As the little one’s skills are growing day by day, his big sister is his best teacher. After all, she is a magical creature to him---someone much closer to his size than grown-ups but still worlds ahead in knowing how the world works. At the same time her confidence in her knowledge grows with his adoration, and all in all, it’s a win-win for them both.

And for this subjective/objective observer it’s a win-win too. I hope you too can stop once in a while, in the midst of all the little and big sibling rivalry issues, take the long view, and recognize it as a win-win too!

“You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.” - Desmond Tutu

Sweet Dreams,

Jane

Next Time Round The Sun

Another year is gone, time will not be captured

Even when we try so hard to hold on to the past

No repeats allowed of regrets or rapture

The moment comes, the moment goes

It happens all so fast

As the planet spins around again

As dreams are lost and found again

We take a look at where we’ve been

And where we want to be

When all is said and done

Next time round the sun

As I thought of what I’d done right this past year and what I’d done wrong, lots of big and little regrets and raptures came into my mind, and I knew that there wasn't a darn thing I could do about either one. I wish I’d tipped that great cab driver better last week. I was glad I’d chosen to make the too-long trip to spend the holidays with my kids and grandchildren. I wish I’d taken the time to write more music in the past year. I was glad that I dared to perform for the first time in a long time, even though I regretted not practicing more for it. Will this be the constant theme of life?

 As parents and grandparents, we’ll always make mistakes, little and big, that we wish we could take back.  And we’ll do things that we’re proud of having done, seeing the results shining in the eyes of the children, and wish that moment could last longer. We can’t take back the mistakes, we just have to try to not do that exact one again. And appreciate those good moments as much as we can.

No repeats allowed, of either regrets or rapture.

There is only one thing that we can do to help minimize the mistakes and maximize appreciation of the good times---staying balanced and rested as possible. When we’re rested we can think more clearly and make those snap decisions with better brain power, calculation, and intuition. Research shows that calming music at bedtime can help both you and your kids fall asleep faster and sleep better.

Staying rested isn’t easy, with so much to do in our fast-paced world, but it’s a goal. That’s my Big Goal for this New Year, because then I know that all the little goals will have more of a chance of being fulfilled.

Happy New Year to all!

Sweet Dreams,

Jane

On vacation with my daughter, we sat by the beach for one whole gloriously sunny day and watched the ocean waves rolling in with endless energy. They just kept coming and coming and coming. Hour after hour, day after day, year after year. Sometimes calm and sometimes wild and dangerous. They had no choice about it—it’s what they have to do, being tied to the irrefutable forces of nature.

The song of the river is a song of devotion

It doesn't know why, but it travels till it reaches the ocean floor

It’s song fulfilled in the ocean’s roar

Share the Resounding Joy

After the horror of last week’s event, an event that resonated with every parent and grandparent in the country, I can only add to all that has been said my sincere condolences. And that there must be action taken to change things on all level--from political to a deeper healing of the stresses that led to this tragedy.

The help that I can offer is to encourage you to lessen the stress in your lives and the lives of your children through music. There is proof that this is an effective tool for integrating the brain and balancing the emotions.

This past week I had the chance to go to a benefit concert for the David Lynch Foundation, which supports the implementation of Transcendental Meditation in schools, to help reduce stress. Another name for reducing stress is the creation of joy, and that was the experience of everyone who was at this event.

The concert was presented by some of the greatest jazz musicians of our time---a time that spans the generations, from Herbie Hancock (age 72) and Wayne Shorter (79 years old) to the young bass-player-vocalist sensation Esperanza Spalding, and the young singer Corrine Ray Bailey. This group was communicating seamlessly in the timeless language of music.

The joy in all their faces was contagious, and all the 1000 people in the audience were infected with this joyfulness.  We all walked out caught up in the joy of the music, feeling uplifted and happy. Music is that powerful.

I talked with Herbie Hancock after the concert, and he said he’d been playing music since he was seven. It was in his blood, he said, and the proof of his life-long devotion to his craft was obvious in the joy he felt and shared.

My point? Share the music, spread the joy. Giving your child the ability to play an instrument and sing is like giving them a life-long gift of creating joy for themselves and others. Due to budget cuts to the arts, our schools do not offer enough music instruction, and our happiness factor (as well as our culture in the future) will suffer for it. So it’s up to us, individual families, to make sure that our children experience music in their lives.

Wynton Marsalis introduced the evening, which was held at his home venue of Lincoln Center Jazz. He has been a tireless advocate for bringing music to children and a teacher and spokesman for music education. He knows that music has the power to teach kids lessons that go far beyond simple music skills---self confidence, increased academic abilities, social skills---and yes, to give joy to the world.

Jane

The Gift that makes your family healthy (maybe wealthy) and Wise

‘Tis the season for buying stuff.

Even if we swear that we’re not going to give in to commercialism, or don’t have the funds to buy gifts, it’s still in our awareness at this time of year---how could it not be, with catalogs crowding the mailbox and ads crowding our brains?

There is one gift, though, that is worth giving and it fits all budgets: Give the gift of music. Music comes in all sizes and shapes and is appropriate for all ages.

For new babies, or those on the way, give lullabies.Lullabies soothe the savage beast and the crying baby.Premature babies are routinely treated with music, as it has been found to help normalize physical functioning. Studies show that even before birth, babies respond to music, as hearing is the first sense to be developed. This is where the healthy part come in!

Suggestion: “Midnight Lullaby”  http://ladylullaby.com/buy-Midnight-Lullaby.html

For toddlers, a weekly music class can literally improve the rest of their lives. Research shows that learning simple musical skills develops the pathways in the brain so that all future learning becomes easier.

Suggestion: http://www.kindermusik.com/

This applies to adults too—learning to play a musical instrument is good for our brains at any age, and (this is where the wealthy part comes in) can increase concentration and focus in anything we do. For inspiration, see this article about someone who learned to play cello later in life:http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/01/education/in-middle-age-reviving-dreams-of-playing-music.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

And take your children to a variety of the many freeconcerts---for children and for adults-- that are offered in your community at this time of year. If they get bored or start to complain loudly, you can leave, but they’ll hear some music and get the message that this is a good and important part of life.

And that is a true gift. That’s where the wisdom part comes in.

Enjoy the holiday season, and if you find that you’re getting get stressed out from doing too much--stop for just a minute, take a deep breath, and put on some soothing music. I promise it will help.

Sweet Dreams,

Jane

Giving Thanks for A Real Hero

Thanksgiving is a time for counting blessings and for stopping for a minute (before or after the pumpkin pie) to notice the good things in our lives.  I’m looking forward to being with my family and can’t wait for pumpkin-sticky hugs from my grandchildren---that’s always something to be grateful for, only slightly dependent on whether my clothes can be washed or need dry cleaning.

This year I’ll stop to notice and give thanks for how healthy all the children are, because this week I had the chance to witness a Real Life Hero and hear the inspiring story of her work with mothers and children who now have a chance of a healthy life.

Robin Lim is this year’s CNN Hero Of The Year. I had known about Robin, but when I heard her telling the stories of her mission to reduce maternal and child mortality rates in Bali and Indonesia I knew I was in the presence of a hero, if not a saint.

Ibu (Mother) Robin began providing free health services for pregnant women in 1994, after her sister tragically died in childbirth. She studied to be a midwife, and when she moved to Bali, started caring for pregnant women out of her home in a small village. The women could not afford decent food, let alone health care, and the mortality rates were shockingly high. It was common practice for babies to be taken away from the mother if they could not pay for their hospital bill for the birth.

 In 2005 The Bumi Sehat Foundation became officially incorporated as a health clinic, and now offers general health services and gentle birthing services to over 17,000 people  a year who come from all over Indonesia, and other countries, to have their babies in a loving and supportive environment. 

The motto of Bumi Sehat Foundation International is “Gentle Birth Heals Mother Earth.”  These gentle birthing practices put mothers and families at the center of the birthing process and help to give the children a healthy start in life.

Of course there is still need for support to keep the project going and growing. The Bumi Sehat wish list includes medication for mothers and children, nursing supplies, supplements, and basic equipment like receiving blankets and infant clothes. If you would like more information, visit http://www.bumisehatbali.org.

Thank you for your important work, Robin, and may we all be thankful for the good things that we notice in our lives.

Happy Thanksgiving and Sweet Dreams,

Jane

Caution: Do Not Use Lullabies For Political Campaigns

Music serves different purposes for the different parts of our lives. It’s the background score for all of us from the cradle to the grave and every moment in between. Music serves to soothe us, to heal us emotionally, to inspire us religiously, and this week it serves —hopefully--- to motivate us to action.

You won’t hear lullabies being used for campaign songs. Why is that? The people who plan these things don’t want to soothe and calm us right now, they don’t want us to fall asleep---they want us to get up and vote and make phone calls and go door to door, to get out there and cheer for the guy with the best message and the best song.

“Music connects on so many levels,” says James Elliott, chairman of the songwriting program at Belmont University in Nashville. “There’s patriotism, there’s maybe an element of nostalgia, pride, and just a love for country and a love for fellow man.” Music can stimulate all of that, and politicians on both sides are well aware of it.

“Since the nation's founders rocked out to “God Save George Washington,” music has been an integral part of our political system,” writes Mike Burr for Prefix Online Magazine.  “Songs have drawn attention to problems in society, served as rallying points for the citizenry and opened discussions on topics that were otherwise unapproachable.”

In the past years, after “Tippecanoe and Tyler Too” caught the attention of the nation in 1840, songs have become an important part of the campaign process. Most songs weren’t written specifically for the campaign---candidates just pick something they think expresses their message. Mike  Burr picks “This Land is Your Land” by Woody Guthrie as the most important patriotic song in our nation’s history. George H. Bush used that one in 1988. George W. Bush’s song pick didn’t work out so well: Tom Petty threatened to sue him if he didn’t stop using his song “I Won’t Back Down.”

Texas billionaire Ross Perot used the Patsy Cline hit “Crazy” for his campaign. Other political songs range from ABBA’s “Take a Chance on Me” to Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” and of course, Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA.” Campaign songs come from all genres, all political orientations, and all age groups.

The one thing they have in common is that they are definitely not lullabies. We’ll get back to that next time---after the election is over.

Sweet dreams,

Jane

Monsters and Other Friends

Lullabies are usually sweet and lovely things, aimed at soothing and calming a baby in the hopes that everyone involved gets a good night sleep. For slightly older children bedtime also should be soothing and calming, but the fact is that toddlers have more ways to express themselves and that can complicate bedtime. Babies cry. Toddlers whine. Babies drift off. Toddlers negotiate. Babies cuddle. Toddlers go down with a fight—after all, there’s that monster under the bed.

Last week I shared one poet’s interpretation of what babies think. Here’s another artist whose songs about slightly older children express the thought process of that stage of life. Julie Maccarin is a psychologist and family counselor in Asheville, North Carolina who channels toddler’s thoughts and turns them into very funny songs.

“There’s a scary monster under my bed

His hair is blue and his eyes are red

He has two bumps in the middle of his head

And he’s keeping me awake at night!”

Kids like songs like this because, Dr. Maccarin says, “it describes a common childhood fear in a playful and non-threatening way. This helps reduce their anxiety and gives them a sense of mastery over their fears.”

She also has a song about imaginary friends, a topic I understand well. My daughter’s “friends” Herman and Inchka stuck around our house for a very long time---they didn't eat much and cleaned up after themselves, so it was fine with me.

“Many children have an imaginary friend,” says Dr. Maccarin, “though whom they can vicariously express their wishes, fears, needs, frustrations, and other feelings.” The song below is about an imaginary friend who is “smart and wonderful, but also sometimes naughty, not unlike a real little girl or boy!” Take a a look at Dr. Maccarin's website at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/juliemaccarin to learn more or order her CD. 

So as you tuck your baby or toddler into bed tonight, check under the bed and know that, whatever you and your child find, all is well.

Sweet Dreams,
Jane

To What Miserable Wretches Have I Been Born?

We all talk about what babies need and like, as if we know what they’re thinking and feeling. How in the world do we know what they’re thinking?

There are different ways of gaining knowledge about parenting. We get advice from friends and relatives who've done it. We read books by experts who have talked to lots of others who've done it and condensed that information for us. And maybe the most important way of knowing what our baby wants-- intuition, and  trial and error.

When it comes to lullabies all these things come into play: we learned songs  when we were little that seem natural to sing to our babies, and we sing the standards like “Twinkle Twinkle.” We buy music by “experts”---singers of children’s music and, in my case, music that’s also for parents who are trying to put their babies to sleep.

And intuition comes in when we instinctively pick up a crying baby and start  crooning some comforting sounds. The trial and error comes in if she settles down right away, or if we change out technique to bouncing or pacing or swearing—depending on the time of night and our fatigue level.

But the fact is that we don’t really know what babies are thinking.

However, there is one woman who claims to know, and she is happy to enlighten us. Comedienne Suzanne Weber has written a very funny book of poetry from the baby’s point of view. Her babies let us know, in no uncertain terms, what they’re thinking about a variety of important subjects.

Here is one such discussion about the practice of swaddling, which the current experts feel makes a baby feel secure and safe. When my children were babies we did not swaddle. It seemed cruel and constricting -and having grown up in the sixties we did not believe in constricting anything at any time. Now it’s back in fashion, and this grandmother has struggled to learn the artful technique of wrapping and twirling and generally taking a baby prisoner. I have to say I felt vindicated when I read this poem:

Where Are My Hands??!!??

I had hands.

I know I did.
I was born with them.

They were there this morning.
What have you done with them?!!??
For that matter, where are my arms?
Last thing I remember,

you lay me on a blanket
and just kept
wrapping
and twisting
and tucking
and tightening
and then
I had no hands.
Or arms.
Come to think of it, can’t really see my legs or feet either.
And what exactly do you expect me to do in this position?
It’s not really conducive to anything except lying here.
What if I just fall asleep like this?
You’d like that, wouldn't you?
Have this little limbless body fall asleep
so you wouldn't have to think
about my needs and attending to them.
You might as well have gotten yourself a houseplant.
Or a throw pillow.
Or a pet rock.
Whatever. Fine.
I’ll sleep.
But only because
trying to do anything else
is
pointless.

---Suzanne Weber
www.iamsuzanneweber.com | www.twitter.com/TheBitterBaby  

And despite their impatience with our general incompetence, they still love us and know that we love them. Swaddled or not, I wish you both a good night and sweet dreams.