A Somewhat Objective Plug for The Parents’ Choice Foundation

Aside from the fact that they want the apostrophe at the end of the word “Parents” and I keep doing it wrong, the Parents’ Choice Foundation is a wonderful organization and resource for finding good quality children’s media and toys.

In l978 author and educator Diana Huss Green gathered together a group of parents who wanted to set some standards for children’s educational and artistic materials. They decided to create a non-commercial clearinghouse of media products for children, and Parents’ Choice Foundation was born.

The stated purpose: “Parents’ Choice strives to provide parents with reliable unbiased information about tools to help their children learn, to explore new challenges, to discuss ideas and to pursue dreams.”

So, inspired by the “pursuing dreams” idea, I submitted “Midnight Lullaby” to the Foundation, knowing that they only accept 15% of all submissions. To my delight, the CD was accepted, and is now happily residing on this prestigious list of recommended music for children.

I encourage you to use the resources that the Parents’ Choice Foundation offers for parents and children of all ages. There are lists of recommended books, music, and toys, as well as useful guides for parents like the one called “Tips and Tools for Navigating the Children’s Media Landscape.” It covers topics like:
Shopping For Children With Special Needs
What Makes a Good Toy?
What Makes a Good DVD?
And many more . . .

It’s a big and confusing world of stuff out there, and this is a way to help you sort through it all so you can know that you’re introducing your child to worthwhile products. Here is the website:

http://www.parents-choice.org/

And here is a classic song by Peter, Paul, and Mary about the kind of “Marvelous Toy” worth looking for!

Listen to "The Marvelous Toy":

Sweet dreams,
Jane

May Your Hands Always Be Busy

I apologize for not writing for a couple of weeks. With a new baby in the picture, I was experiencing a fraction of the lives that new live parents and remembered---it’s survival time. I admire and applaud you all.

Luxuries like writing or phone calls or washing your hair take second place to sleeping, eating, napping, doing enough laundry to have fresh onesies and burp cloths, sleeping, eating, and napping.

Even for a grandmother! After the first few days—reaping the good karma of having done the whole thing myself already years ago---I went back to my own place and the sleep part got back in order. That made it easier to do what is the natural order of the generations---helping with laundry, washing dishes, cooking (to be honest, this is not my strong suit but I’m really good at sushi takeout).

And with a second child there is the blessing of relaxed parents who are now grateful to let me do the good stuff—singing lullabies for an hour at a time (my best audience ever!), cuddling and giving a freshly pumped bottle so mom can take a that nap, changing diapers and gazing at this amazing creature, all the while hoping for the miracle of a smile right in my direction.

Grandparents now also get to pick up the big brother or sister from pre-school, because it’s a whole different thing to take a sometimes-sleeping-sometimes-crying baby along for that ride. So I did get the smile that I was looking for, two-year-old size!

To maximize that smile, a few days ago I took my guitar along and sang for the kids. They were surprisingly attentive, and after figuring out how to play guitar AND do the hand-motions for "Wheels on the Bus", I realized that anything in life is possible. The best part was that Annalise proudly sat right next to me and sang louder than anyone else, whether she knew the words or not.

So thank you to all new parents who have made us into grandparents, and as comedian Rita Rudner said, "Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them!"

To give the big picture, here is one of the best Bob Dylan songs, and maybe the best song ever, written for all generations:

Listen to "Forever Young":

Sweet dreams,
Jane

And When It's Not Bedtime...

It's time to talk again about the times in-between lullaby time. Let’s talk about after naps, or the first thing in the morning, or anytime when you don’t want your baby or toddler (or you) to relax too much. Here's another source for wonderful non-lullaby music for babies and toddlers.

Confession time: When I said that the arrival of my granddaughter had inspired my love of lullabies it wasn’t exactly the truth. Please don’t tell my kids. The fact is that, although I was definitely inspired by Annalise’s arrival to record “Midnight Lullaby,” my interest in lullabies was sparked a few years before that.

It was Gari Ann Stein who did it.

For years my friend Gari had been teaching music in her basement in Ann Arbor to very young children but I didn’t really understand or appreciate what she was doing. I would see instruments, costumes, and all sorts of fun stuff, but only when she asked me to sing some lullabies at the end of her CD series, “Sing With Me,” did I listen to what she was teaching, and recognize how important music classes can be for very young children.

From her years of teaching, Gari says, “I have seen the joy that music brings to young children, how it enhances their sense of self, positively affects their behavior and strengthens their comfort in a social setting.”

Her award-winning new book “The More We Get Together” brings her program into the home in a simple and fun way that encourages interaction between parents and children, and nurtures relationships in the way that only singing and playing together can do. It’s a wonderful resource for any parent that can be used every day.

Check out Gari’s work at: http://www.little-folks-music.com

So I thank Gari for her work, and for the gift she gave me when she handed me a cassette tape (yes, I guess it was more than a few years ago!) of lullabies to learn. They were familiar, comforting, easy and natural, and I fell in love with the genre forever.

Welcome Home to Love

There are many parents who see their babies for the first time and feel like they already know them.

It might be because you’ve been planning, dreaming, and worrying about this new life for at least nine months, and maybe long before that. Collecting clothes and toys and creating a space in the house for another person. Going to the doctor to get a sneak preview and making sacrifices large and small, like giving up wine and sushi.

Or maybe there is something more to it—maybe it’s the genes that are familiar, or the DNA, or if you believe in reincarnation maybe you really did know each other before! If you have stories of feeling like you already knew your baby when he/she was born, please share them with us by making a comment below.

In any case, the baby arrives and it seems like a miracle. And grandparents can feel the same way, possibly with an even deeper understanding of the miracle. It’s the continuation of the family, the clan, the species. It’s a chance to take part in the renewal part of the cycle of life, a cycle that with passing years we have come to experience in its joys and sorrows.

Micah Barry Pitt was born to my son and daughter-in-law on May 29 (I did make it in time!) and I’m in love. He is the spitting (pun intended) image of my son when he was born, so on some level a feeling of familiarity is inevitable. I am very grateful that he is healthy, calm, and obviously brilliant, shown by his choice of families.

I helped out in the hospital so my daughter-in-law could get a little sleep. His heartbeat melted into mine as I held him in the rocking chair in the middle of the night, and in my mind I kept hearing the line from Ewan McCall’s timeless love song The First Time Ever “...like the trembling heart of a captive bird.” So vulnerable, so precious, so necessary.

The Grandmother Effect

Here I am in the Detroit airport, delayed. Apparently the crew forgot to show up. What are these people thinking? Don’t they know that I have a grandson being born any minute now?? He’s already nine pounds and, the doctor said, and he has big shoulders like his father and grandfather, so I figure he’s ready to come but is just waiting for his grandmothers to get there to greet him.

Baby Pitt and his mother Aviva

Grandmothering is the subject of some flashy new studies that show that it’s good for all generations to have grandmothers around. Did we need a study to know that? Other cultures know this, and fully respect grandparents, realizing that there is a specific purpose for the generations being together: the elders get to share their life experience and wisdom with the little ones, parents get some much-needed help with childcare, and the babies learn that the world is full of big people who know for a fact how miraculous they are.

I used to listen to my friends talking—no, glowing—about becoming grandparents. I have to admit I didn’t get it. I loved seeing babies and could smile silly smiles and coo with the best of them, but I didn’t really understand what they were talking about.

I had to experience for myself the feelings that came up when I witnessed my own DNA in the form of a small, blanketed bundle. And while changing a really messy diaper and eye contact was first made (okay, sign me up for diaper duty). And the first time there was a genuine smile meant just for me.

Something happens in the heart—literally. When I’m with my granddaughter I feel my heart glow and grow in some subtle way that I hadn’t felt since holding my own new babies. I don’t know if there are studies for that, but I know it’s real. New parents, ask your own parents if that isn’t their experience too—I bet it is if they stop to feel it.

And so, Delta Airlines, I really have to be there when he comes. I’ll let you all know if I make it in time!

Sing with Love and Caution

Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop
When the wind blows the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby, cradle and all

Do you find yourself mumbling the words to “Rock-a-Bye Baby” when you sing it to your child? I did, afraid that somehow that image would scar my children for life. Maybe they wouldn’t climb trees. Maybe they would be scared of the wind. Maybe they wouldn’t feel that the world wasn’t a safe place, if Mom would hang them from a branch that was likely to break off.

What kind of parent would make up a song like that anyway?

There are several stories about the origin of the lullaby. One says that it was the first poem written by English on American soil, who observed the American Indian tradition of suspending a birch bark cradle in the branches of a tree. While the mother was working, the wind would rock the cradle and the baby would go to sleep. This practical solution for a working mother makes sense to me even if the story isn’t really true.

Another story is more colorful—there was a family in England in the 1700’s who actually lived in a tree, and so they had the right to hang whatever they wanted from it. The tree in this story is a huge, ancient Yew tree, and the family who lived there were charcoal burners named Kate and Luke Kenyon. They had eight children and hollowed out a large tree branch to use as a cradle. OK, maybe. Eight children forces you to be resourceful.

A third theory is the most dramatic of all: that the 17th century tyrant King James, in desperate need of an heir, had a baby boy smuggled into the birthing room. When the story got out it led to his downfall. The “wind” could be the political force “blowing” in from the Netherlands in the form of William of Orange, who kicked James out. The “cradle” is the royal House of Stuart. The earliest recorded version of the words in print come with a footnote: “This may serve as a warning to the Proud and Ambitious, who climb so high that they generally fall at last.”

In any case, I would advise you to either hug your baby very tight when singing this song, or change the words, as my daughter-in-law did:

“And Mommy will catch you, cradle and all!”

Sweet dreams,
Jane


The Marx Brothers had a great version of this song:

Thanks, Amy!

This week I just want to give sincere thanks from Lady Lullaby to the Lullaby Lady. Confused? Don’t be---there is room in this world for all kinds of lullaby fanatics.

Amy Robbins-Wilson has a wonderful website (http://www.lullaby-link.com/index.html) that focuses on lullabies also. She shares my belief that “musical interaction between family and their babies is important to a child’s development" and she points to the fact that "all cultures sing to their infants...” Amy has graduate degrees in Ritual Song and Chant Performance, and also in Expressive Arts Therapy, so she really knows her stuff.

I was very grateful that Amy gave my CD “Midnight Lullaby” a glowing review, and am so moved by her generosity in recommending my music on her blog that I want to share her comments with you and suggest that you check out what she has to offer in the way of beautiful bedtime songs and all sorts of useful advice.



Sweet dreams,
Jane