Princess For a Day

It was obviously the In Place for all princesses. Katie Holmes knew it and was there. So my forever-friend Ina and I, who had dressed up like princesses and danced in her basement long ago, took our grown-up daughters and pretended they were six again, like Suri.

The Sleeping Beauty is a timeless story and Tchaikovsky’s gorgeous music has made it into one of the world’s most beloved ballets, and the New York City Ballet created a magical world of dance and fairy tale. Every one of the thousands of little and big girls in the audience felt like they were dancing too, dreaming of a prince and falling into a hundred-year sleep right along with the beautiful Princess Aurora. The whole place, main floor and all five tiers of balconies, helped the dancers by humming along to the famous waltz---even those who didn’t know that they knew the melody hummed along.

This is Sophia, who dressed for the occasion and was the object of much admiration from young to old. She watched the two hours of dancing and music mesmerized, and she will never forget the experience.

Why spend hard-earned money on something like a ballet, even in the fifth tier balcony? Because, as Sophia’s mother knew, an experience like that becomes part of who we are. The more music, dance, art, and theater we expose our children to, the more they will integrate that world of high-quality imagination and creativity.  I remember clearly the first chamber music concert my parents took me to, dressed up and fidgeting until the flutist appeared.  Pure magic came out of a little silver tube! I begged for lessons and even long after I stopped playing I kept the instrument just because I loved it.

There is a Cycle of Appreciation: if you have some musical experience you can appreciate performances more, and when you see live performances you are inspired more to enjoy or even create it yourself. I think the same thing must happen with sports---by going to high-school basketball games with my son, my four year old granddaughter has an impressive understanding of the game. I firmly believe that she will be the first ballerina princess (tutu and all) to play center on her high school team.


Jane

www.ladylullaby.com

Siblings: Remember It’s a Win-Win

 "I don’t understand how people learn to live in the world if they haven’t had siblings. . . . Everything I learned about negotiation, territoriality, coexistence, dislike, inbred differences and love came from (them).” Anna Quindlan (Siblings)

It’s a whole different thing than my last visit a couple months ago, I realize, as I watch my grandchildren jog the loop around from living room through hallway over and over. The almost-two-year-old boy can now run, and that makes all the difference. The four-year-old girl is like his puppet master---she slows down, he slows down; she goes faster, he tries to keep up and hardly notices when he falls down in the attempt.

She catches him and tumbles him to the ground and he laughs with delight—until it’s suddenly too rough and the laugh turns to tears. Game over. As the substitute referee, it’s a tough call, figuring out if each tackle is within the bounds of the game or not. Pro football doesn’t have to take into account the psychology of sibling relationship issues.

(Flashback: I clearly see my son--the present-day dad--as a four year old, casually sticking out his foot to trip his toddler sister as she devotedly followed his every move. She had no idea what happened, and just picked herself up and kept on following--it was worth it just to be with him.)

Dr. James M. Herzog suggests that enhanced learning from an older sibling can begin as early as 15 to 18 months, which is the time the younger child’s motor skills allow him to imitate the physical accomplishments of an older sibling.

I notice especially the musical tutoring that’s going on daily. The older one says something in a certain tone and pitch, and he imitates it exactly (without real words, which makes it truly comical). She comes home from pre-school with a new song and he sings along, not knowing the song at all, and imitates her hand motions, just for the sheer joy of doing what she’s doing.

As the little one’s skills are growing day by day, his big sister is his best teacher. After all, she is a magical creature to him---someone much closer to his size than grown-ups but still worlds ahead in knowing how the world works. At the same time her confidence in her knowledge grows with his adoration, and all in all, it’s a win-win for them both.

And for this subjective/objective observer it’s a win-win too. I hope you too can stop once in a while, in the midst of all the little and big sibling rivalry issues, take the long view, and recognize it as a win-win too!

“You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.” - Desmond Tutu

Sweet Dreams,

Jane